There is always contrast. The duality of
the world warrants that everything has its complement, and cannot exist without
the other. There is always a light and a
heavy, a tree and a non-tree, a dry and a wet-- the yin and yang. Yin and
Yang exemplifies those two forces, halves that together create wholeness. Finding the perfect place to live doesn’t
warrant a perfect solution to your issues.
If happiness comes from within, then one can essentially be anywhere on
the planet and be happy and at peace.
And any given place will have its advantages and disadvantages, and like
human character, every place its attributes and its deficiencies.
St.
Lucia is not innocent from this model and living here has meant acknowledging
these contrasting sides. And so, as
duality is a force of our reality, the beauty of sea and land is balanced with
its own amount of ugliness. Mosquitos
were having a hay day, many months ago, partying and transmitting
the“Chikungunya” disease to unfortunate members of the population. Average first-world person’s would likely be disappointed
and impatient with the everyday workings, from inefficient paperwork systems,
to lazy or slow employee work, and inattentive restaurant service. They would complain of poor road conditions, and windy mountain roads. Americans
would freak out with the driving "etiquette" here. People coming at you, taking
up the center of the narrow 2 lane-ish road, mini buses turning at you, coming
at full speed around curving roads, navigating potholes, and gravelly
piles. There aren’t really traffic lights, one or two here and there, and any
car will stop at whim in order to let other drivers turn from the
intersection. Being an impatient driver in a place like this is a waste
of your own precious energy, for you will get no where faster on that only road
leading through town. Litter here, like any third-world place, is a
sad affair of ignorance, and negligence.
People dump their trash on open lands, and throwing things out the window
is hardly a regulated crime. Like most
third world countries, cats and dogs roam the street homeless and hungry. Horses are common on island, and commonly mistreated. Owners often find a field and leave them
alone, undernourished, and unmaintained.
It’s a heartbreaking reality to see daily, but somehow you submit to
acceptance, because try as you may to create change and reform on these issues,
the sad reality is that the country is set in their ways and all these things
require money, which is not properly allocated.
Each has their own process of giving up comforts
and efficiencies, finding acceptance with the way things are here. You are on an island, and importation of
practically everything means VAT, and taxes make everything expensive. Shopping for specialty food items can be a
sad affair, while the convenience and selection of Wholefoods, is only a
distant memory. It took hardly any time
for me to forget the excess of the States, and its “have to have it now”
mentality. For me, it took being
resourceful with what was available, and with that I happily found and created
my new balance of simplicity.
**********
“Yin and Yang are also a starting point of change.
By definition, when something is whole it is unchanging and complete.
So when you split something in half it upsets the equilibrium of
wholeness. This starts both halves chasing after each other after they
seek a new balance with each other. But in its nature, nothing is ever
completely Yin nor Yang. Each aspect contains the beginning point of the
next aspect- interdependent, that one definition requires the other definition
to be complete.”
The
morning had an almost heavenly glow glazing the mountain-sides. I was
becoming dependent upon those screeches from morning birds, for some reason
they soothed my soul. Harbingers to a
new day, they chirped, connecting me to time, renewing another day. Palm trees crackled, as the breeze spread
through the valley. Rustling trees
greeted me from all corners, reminding me of the Oneness of all. Locked
into my gaze, the question of, what am I
doing here? crept up unable to be ignored.
What does my life look like, and what does it mean? Strength bound
with sadness tied the scene together, and although I felt I was living my life
and satisfying inner yearnings, how long would I sustain it, and what did I
really want my future to be like? Those weighty complementary sides existed all the while-- insecurity as well as confidence, sadness as well
as ecstasy. Fear of not sustaining
myself, yet confidence that the path was true and would prevail. There was the sadness of not seeing my family and
friends often, yet the joy of knowing I was where I wanted to be!
After 1 month at Saltwhistle with the roomie, I moved into a place of my own. It
was a small, studio apartment, underneath a house, overlooking the golf course,
and surrounded in bright, beaming flowers.
The disadvantages were that it was even farther away from
“civilization,” than the last place, and during the day the inside became like a
sweat- box with the early afternoon sun making its presence amidst no air
conditioning. And so I trudged, in the
hot ass sun to my destinations and back, up and down unpaved, hilly roads, past
perilous barking dogs, sweating to ripened perfection. It didn’t help that ever since the setting
of my breakup my hormones went crazy, and I was getting my period practically
twice in the same month, which equals more sweating, more stank, and weight
gain. I also got my first fine lines and
sunspots . . . did I already mention I could always smell my armpits constantly?!
********
“Why does duality occur? It occurs because
the soul wants to study its own nature. Soul perceives its individual
aspects through perceiving its archetypes, through the mental, physical,
spiritual dimensions.”
But really, your life situation is all on how you
perceive it, of course. One must choose
what they will see and believe from the duality. Choose
the beauty that you love, or choose to see only the fly that landed in that big bowl
of yummy oatmeal. The nature of Yin and
Yang flows and changes with time, while all forces in the universe are in
constant motion. One aspect may
increase, and so the other will decrease to maintain overall balance of the
whole. I had to create my balance in
order to thrive. Would I choose to be
set by the weight of fear, rationality, and the desires of others in order to
set my future? Would I choose the magic
that I knew was possible to create? The island was filled with wondrous creatures. Flitting lightning bugs, green iridescent hummingbirds playing from tree to flower.
Mosquitos ravage at sunset, leaving red dots reminders on your
skin. Giant crickets and frogs sing the
soundtrack of the arrival of darkness.
The horses with their bony structures gaze at me from there tethered rope. All these things remind me of contrast, of the
balance of duality, and yet I had the power to see the beauty I wanted for my
life. The balance, in its own uniqueness,
is a force in the universe always in constant motion; the only constant is
change.
********
Again the sky laughs brightly
The air dances and flows over everything.
The far-off strange county belongs to me again,
The alien has become my home…
-Wandering-
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